Oh, how I envy you,
So peaceful and relaxed,
Sprawled so casually, unassuming.
No cares; just dreaming, just being.
You make my heart quiver.
Oh, how it pains me that you have seen through my disguise,
All anxious and unorderly,
Tensely at your side, awaiting love’s demise.
All fears, nightmares, barely breathing,
Nerves are all chaos inside.
How much easier it was to be strangers.
How have my monstrosities not made you flee?
Every flaw I have exposed for you to see.
All to set you free.
Yet you, still lie so casually.
I envy you, so relaxed.
No cares, no worries.
Just there, just dreaming, just being.
Love floods my shriveled heart.
And how has half a decade gone by?
So many tears you have caught and dried.
The space in my bed you have become.
The light and strength in my dark times.
Your kisses and hugs should surely signal no goodbyes.
But I am split in two,
For fear of love will not let me trust you.
The potential for heartbreak.
The power of devastation
You unknowingly hold in your hands.
Oh, I ache to be like you,
Finally peaceful and relaxed,
Freely giving,
Sprawled so casually.
No nightmares or demons.
Just there accepting, just being.
You will forever make my heart quiver.
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