I knew it was a long shot, but I wanted to see him one more time. I wanted to close this chapter of my life. I wanted to know, if he were to see me, what would he do? Would he fall into my arms, would he scold me for seeking him out, or would he just give me a stare of acknowledgement, a little nod, and go about his life? I just needed him to confirm what I already knew. I used to be an evening cashier at this particular Pharmco. It had been a year since I set foot in this store. I walked in and I quickly scanned the front to see if anyone that I had worked with was still here. I recognized the man at the front counter. I tried to avoid eye contact with him. Thankfully, he did not see me because he was preoccupied with a customer.
I smiled as I walked through the make-up aisle. When I first started at Pharmco, I did not wear make-up. I mainly wore my hair black, back, and in a bun because I was not invested in my looks. I was short, a little pudgy, and I was at a low point in my life. Two months after working there, I dropped ten pounds. I dyed my hair honey blonde to contrast with my mahogany skin tone. I only wore natural pigmented makeup to enhance my facial features. I started to feel better about life when a handsome guy came up to the counter with his two daughters. I did not pay him much attention, nor did I notice the older girl because the little girl was struggling with her bag of chips. She was too cute.
“Aww, they let you carry the chips?” I asked her playfully. She smiled. Shane looked at her so proudly.
“Yeah, she promised not to crush them,” he said.
I checked them out and asked the little sweetie pie, “Would you like the chips back?”
She looked at her dad and he smiled, and they exited the store. Shane came back in and smiled at me.
“Did you forget your something?” I asked.
He picked up some gum, looked over his sunglasses, and said “Yes.”
“What?”
“I wanted to ask you, can I have your number?”
I looked at him confused for a second. Shane was handsome. He seemed to be 5’ 7" with an average build. He had short black hair that was styled with a few waves. He had beautiful hazel eyes, and his skin was evenly tanned. I used to roll my eyes and laugh when he would say he was a butter pecan Puerto Rican. I used to think that line was a bit corny, but it was so funny to me. That attracted me more than his good looks.
I gave him a second glance and wondered what he liked about me. I was not pretty and a bit overweight. I thought he can do better than me.
“You’re a very beautiful girl, and I am sure that men do this to you all the time. My name is Shane.” I blushed so hard and nervously handed him my number.
Shane called or texted me daily. He always called to say good morning and was the last voice I heard before I went to sleep. He would bring me flowers at work with a card with a funny message signed with love. He loved to make me smile, and I felt loved. We'd go on the best dates. The dates were always at small establishments in town that I thought were hidden gems. When we would go out of town, Shane would go all out and take me to new establishments that I had never eaten at like Jimmy V's Osteria and Bar or the Capital. He was a romantic. On one of our dates, he gave me a beautiful bracelet.
I smiled as I looked down at my bracelet dangling on my wrist as I reached for a Milky Way and gum. Shane smelled faintly like Double Mint gum. I laughed to myself as I remembered when I caught him buying Newport cigarettes at the convenience store. He seemed a little irritated with me that day. I already knew he smoked because the gum did not mask the smell well. I did not understand why he got so mad when I caught him. It all makes sense now. My smile faded, and I continued to browse around the pharmacy.
The older lady working the beauty section seemed to grow suspicious of me.
“Need any help?” the lady softly asked.
“No, ma’am. I'm just walking down memory lane.” I smiled. She watched me even more now and her face had questions that I did not want to answer. I could feel her watching me closely like she wanted to catch me stealing. I don’t take things that don’t belong to me. I picked up a clear lip gloss and slowly walked to the shampoo section of Pharmco. I somberly came to a stop.
This is where I did nightly duties, and my love would keep me company as I prepared to close for the night. He would come in his work uniform and keep me company until 5 minutes to close. He would come in and play with the toys while I straightened up the toy section. We would laugh like immature teens when customers bought condoms, and we'd sneak kisses in the back aisle because he knew it made me blush. I could use one of those kisses now. I loved Shane. I still loved Shane. He made me happy. Tears filled my eyes because those days were over.
One day, I received a phone call from a number I did not know. I did not answer unknown calls, so I ignored it and they did not leave a message. After the fourth call, I finally decided to answer the number because no one accidentally calls four times.
“Hello” I answered in a panic. At first, they did not say anything. Breaths filled the line. “Hello?” I listened fearfully worried that something bad had happened.
“Who is this?” a lady asked.
I instantly became irritated because I hate when someone calls me and asks me who I am. I snapped back, “You don’t call someone and ask who is this? You announce yourself first.”
“This is Taniyah. Who am I speaking with?”
I could not even answer because she bombarded me with an explosion of questions.
“Who are you? How did you and my husband meet? Did you know he was married? Are you trying to rip apart my family? Do not try to protect him! I know everything!” she demanded.
I held my breath as I tried and failed to process what she was saying to me. I thought maybe she had the wrong number because I wasn't dating a married man. I would never knowingly date anyone’s husband.
“Bitch, we have been together seventeen years and married fourteen of them. You think you about to come and take mine? Hoe, think again! I have seen all the text messages that he sent you, talking about baby this and baby that. I know where you work. I know what you look like, and if I catch you in these streets, I am going to Mortal Kombat finish that ass! What now? Do you think you the only one? You think you special, huh? You not!” she yelled.
I took a deep breath and hung up the phone. She sent me a picture of me that I had sent to Shane. I stared at it long and hard. My heart dropped to the floor. All I could see was my face in the picture smiling.
“He lied to me.” I started crying. How could I have not known? I couldn’t be this naïve.
When I spoke to Shane, he told me not to answer any questions because it could be used against him in their divorce. I wanted to protect him, so I took his orders, but his wife kept calling. I could understand she wanted answers, but I could not hurt Shane. His wife called and called from different numbers day and night. I told Shane that I could not take it anymore, so he advised me to change my number and I did. To avoid any run-ins, I found another job immediately.
“You so stupid. Let me get out of here,” I mumbled. I went to the paper goods to get some tissue for the cry home. Was that lady still following me? “Would you stop following me!” I pleaded.
“Why should I?” the young woman said. It was no longer the cashier that was following me earlier but another lady. This lady was beautiful. She was a little plus-sized like me. She had almond shaped eyes. Her brown eyes seemed to have fire burning in them. They were lasered in on me. If not for her long black hair and glasses, I would say she and I resembled one another. She knew me, but I do not know her. But, that voice. I would never forget that voice!
I closed my eyes, took the deepest breath, planted my feet firmly on the ground, and I stared right back.
It was Shane’s wife. How long had she been following me?
“You fuckin' homewrecker!” she screamed. She was about to bum rush me.
“Stop right there.” I commanded, “I would hate for you to miss Shane’s wedding for assault. And its kind of embarrassing when family goes to jail”
She gasped in disgust. Her fire seemed to be extinguished by the cold words.
“You’re so mad at me and your husband is marrying a whole other lady! Remember ‘you’re not the only one'? You remember that?” I exclaimed “Yes I was wrong to continue to see Shane after you called me. Yes, I helped him cheat, and yes, I had a hand in breaking up your home, but he lied to you. He lied to me, and now you trying to fight me.”
I could see we had an audience of workers and shoppers. She looked around, embarrassed that everyone in the store knew her husband was having multiple affairs, and finally left. I felt bad for her and no longer for myself. Shane had also been seeing another lady, and from what I heard from a friend, he planned on marrying her the next day. They were expecting his first son.
I watched her turn to leave, crying, and I noticed that I was no longer misty eyed. I was no longer sad about Shane. I was happy that I was not Taniyah. Damn. Seventeen years and poof. I put the items back on the shelf and walked out with eyes piercing my back. As I walked to my car, I could see his ex-wife with her head in her hands sobbing in her car. I got in my car, and I sat there for a second to watch her. I felt sorry for her. She was linked to him forever because of their children and had to watch him start a new life without her.
I, on the other hand, started the car and drove away from the Pharmco and my memories of Shane.
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